Anu Sachar
My 35 year old client is a school teacher who has been coaching with me since the past 3 months.
She commenced her session saying “I have benefitted a whole deal since I started coaching with you. I am more focussed, productive with healthier working relationships at my school. I remember coming here initially with major relationship conflicts with colleagues, especially my senior colleagues. “
“Let’s review your journey till date from your perspective. While we have reviewed your goal weekly, now that its achieved, what do you think has worked well for you?”
“That is a great start for todays session..thank you..I came from a place of deep conflict with my fellow teachers, as well as my school staff. Through our sessions in these past months, I realised the conflict was within me. My skills to be a teacher of repute who can be trusted and loved by her students needed attention. Through our sessions, I consciously built on these skills which I identified as my ‘success’ factors.
“Where do you stand today regarding your skills and these success factors?”
“I have grown tremendously in my skills as you know, I am now training junior teachers on some of these skills. Am so proud of my efforts and grateful at the same time. Regarding my success factors, ever since I reframed my failures as stepping stones, my life has been such a blessing. I am so much more accepting of my strengths and areas of development.” Pausing, she smiled “I remember resisting the word weakness as it defined me earlier. Today, being weak, having weaknesses is a welcome check of my self awareness. Its my mirror to areas of development. That is also what I want to discuss discuss today. There is one area of development in my personal life that I wish to be coached on.”
“I have this peculiar condition at times when I struggle to breathe. All of a sudden, I am either gasping for breath or constricted to breathe - almost fighting to catch my breath. Sometimes I feel I will choke.”
“Before we commence deep dive, can you please ground yourself and bring to your self awareness your role?”
“Yes” she smiled “I am fully committed and present to all that comes up, am accepting unconditionally of every aspect of my being. I am ready to deep dive with faith..” She folded her hands and closed her eyes.
We went through a meditation exercise for grounding and relaxing her. She opened her eyes “I am ready to look within my subconscious mind”
“When did you last experience this episode of being unable to breathe?”
“2 days ago, I felt suffocated”
“Any medical condition that needs treatment?
“I have consulted doctors who said I am fine..there is no cause for concern..though they haven’t been able to diagnose the reason for my feeling suffocated”
“Where were you when this episode occurred?”
“At home”
“Kindly recall past few similar episodes, where were you?”
Reflecting for a few minutes, she said “All have occurred at home”
“Anyone around you at that time?”
Her eyes filled with tears “My elder sister”
“Anyone else?”
“My sister and her husband”
“Kindly recall past few episodes, who all have you been with?”
“My sister primarily”
“Your sister at your home?”
Beginning to lose composure, she said tearfully “ Its my sister who I cannot live without. These episodes happen when she comes home or when I am visiting her at her place”
“What about her husband?”
“He can’t stand my presence - makes it fairly obvious whenever we are together”
“Your presence - can you explore that a little please?”
“I don’t know. He makes these disdainful expressions and calls me a hanger on”
“What about your sister?”
“She is caring, affectionate towards me. Its just the 2 of us as family since we lost our parents 15 years ago. We have been there for each other till she married and moved out of our home”
“What changed post her marriage?”
“She got busy, preoccupied. We didn’t meet too often in the first year of her marriage. Thereafter, we have been meeting, though she now has other priorities.”
“How does that make you feel?”
“Lost! I cant function without her”
“So when you feel lost, what do you do?”
“I try holding onto her - call her, message her, spend time with her at her place or mine”
“What do you gain from this?”
“Her attention, no longer feel lost”
“How often do you call her or be with her?”
“Almost daily - call , message or visit her..at times all of these“
To be continued