Anu Sachar
My client, 55 years old client was visiting me for his Life Coaching Session. “ I have had major challenges through out my working life..I am a gold medalist from my Management School. Yet, I haven’t been able to do too well in my career spanning 30 years. Now that I have a few more years left, I really want to make it my best phase.”
Taking a deep breath, he continued “I have been restless throughout my career.. Once again about 3 months ago when my restlessness was overwhelming me again, I was on the verge of quitting my current job. My friend suggested that I attend this spiritual retreat which he frequents. He claimed that it resulted in major breakthroughs in his life.”
Grimacing he continued “It was fine while it lasted, then, since the past 2 months, my restlessness has given way to anger - volatile anger that I am unable to control…at home, work, in general while travelling. I walked out of my job last week as I could not take it any more. Am serving notice period and so angry about everything..”
“I am here to understand where I am going with this..is it really me? I know myself as restless, have managed that earlier…anger is so foreign”
“So, you have been restless in the past 30 years and since the past 2 months, restlessness has given way to anger..anything that changed in these past months?”
“I don’t know for sure…the retreat was a kind of trigger to the anger…”
“What was the structure of the retreat?”
“Wellness..meditation…silent walks…satsang..it was a week long retreat..”
“What worked for you?”
“Wellness - the talks, practicing Yoga individually and with a partner, the cleansing process”
“How did you feel about your restlessness?”
“Didn’t feel it much, as I felt relaxed…away from the noise…”
“Anything that came up as a challenge for you?”
“Yes - the guided work, where I was asked to do something by a facilitator..I could not concentrate and each time they asked me to focus, look within, I struggled..they were so kind and yet I felt angry..”
With clenched fists, he gesticulated “Felt like hitting out..hurting..screaming…controlled myself with such difficulty.”
“During the wellness, the talks, yoga and cleansing process, how did the facilitators come across to you?”
“Supportive, giving me time to settle , understand and then proceed…”
“With the support, what did you do best?”
“Learn quickly…you know just like I had the support of my teachers in college where I excelled - my gold medal is because of all their guidance, kind advice and gentle nudges”
“So when was there a challenge to excel?”
“Ah…one teacher who was a monster. Then at work all through, I had issues with my managers…”
“How was support at work?”
“There was none…that made me restless…kind of edgy…when lack of support reached its peak, I quit the jobs before I was called a non performer”
“From a gold medalist to a non performer…with and without support..two different results”
“Yes - support can do wonders…I am a living example”
“So when you receive support now, what is the one thing you want to accomplish?”
“My career trajectory - take it up..higher to the heady brilliant levels of success”
“When you received support at the retreat, you mentioned being able to settle, understand and then proceed”
“Yeah…plan well with the knowledge that I was receiving”
“So the support is about planning well with your knowledge?”
“Indeed..” He exclaimed “Plan well….calms me down…I am prepared…anything I am pushed into, makes me angry and I don’t have time to prepare.”
“Plan well..calms you..what are you prepared for ?”
“For the unknown…projects, people , challenges..bring them on!”
“As I see, you are doing the planning, preparing for the unknown..what can get you started well on your own like at the retreat?”
“I learnt well there…learning is my core…preparing myself will get me started well”
“Can you expand a little on preparing myself?”
Smiling with relief, he said “Well, all my life since childhood, my parents took care of many of my plans..you know almost to the extent of controlling? Do this in this manner …don’t do that…rewards only came when I was the good boy..it infuriated me as I did not learn much other then follow their instructions..till date, I control my anger like I did as a child…put a lid on it”
“What is your learning about that today ?”
“I realise while I did put a lid on my anger, I expressed it when I rebelled…chose to hit back at authority in my own way…was so liberating…especially at work..which will now change…I get that…”
"One key takeaway from today’s session?”
“Understand my learning comes from within and not outside…I will support myself on my own, come for my sessions here to work on myself more”
“For your career ?”
“Yes specifically for that and along with that in my life - my family, friends and extended circle”
“Action Plan for the upcoming week?”
“Support myself and prepare for my day by myself…will keep me calm and focussed”
“Any final thoughts?”
“Yes…the retreat was wonderful and am realising that I did not get the context earlier like I have today…its been a very meaningful session for me..opened up my mind”
“Thank You..I am in gratitude to see your mind opening up.”