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Fear is REAL

Anu Sachar



“I want to excel in my job and succeed as a senior leader in my organisation…been here since 12 years and recently elevated to a senior role..am facing a major challenge accepting the leadership responsibility” my client stated.

“What will make you successful?” “Performing better on the job..my clients rave about my interior designing ideas…yet, somehow..” she paused, looking exasperated continued “I really don’t get this…I am all charged up to put my plans into action and just when its show-time, Poof!! my entire effort goes up in thin air!..I short-circuit...somehow something goes wrong at the last minute! I have no way of controlling the damage..its coming in my way of growing within the organisation…”

“When did your plans work out well in the recent past?” “Planning my 6 year old daughter’s birthday party last month..received compliments galore for making it a fun event, joyful accentuated with beautiful memories..so glad everything went well”

“Do you recall anything going wrong at the last minute?” Beaming with pride she said “Things were kind of magically picture perfect! like a dream! Riveting performances by the live band were talk of the town entire week!”

“You mentioned 'kind of'….anything that warrants a mention?” “Well..yeah..some minor glitches..was a theme party..the event manager messed up the balloons..instead of pink, white and yellow, he put up red, blue and green…had to get the right balloons set up again.”

“How were the other balloons an issue?” “ those colours ruined the overall theme…the decor, return gifts, invites were in the same theme”

“What made it a grand success?” “Thorough planning..every detail worked out with the event manager..this party was organised for 60 children and their parents..venue, theme, invitees list, invitations, return gifts, decor, food, fun activities, live band…and so on…”

“What else did you do to make it a success?” “That’s it I guess…drum rolls!!”

“Picture Perfect..like a dream..your memory of yourself while organising this picture perfect event?” Smiling she said “Memory of myself? happy, ecstatic, calm, amidst 60 kids….a job well done!”

“Anything with potential to short-circuit your efforts?” “Short-circuit my efforts? “ She paused “Hmm…thats a great thought…” reflecting deeply she said “Umm…don’t think so..would have found a solution to the glitches…at no cost would anything come in the way..was my darling daughter’s birthday…will leave no stone unturned to make it a grand success…”

"Will leave no stone unturned to make it a grand success…at no cost would anything come in the way..what were you telling yourself here?” “I love my child and will do everything in my capacity to make this memorable for her.”

“Just as you were thorough in planning your daughter’s event , let’s now think through in detail when your plans short-circuit, what are you telling yourself?” Growing silent, she clasped her hands “I don’t know..a strange power overwhelms me..feel helpless.”

“Can you stay with this and see what brings this up?” “Unable to control myself…things just slip away”

“Your memory of yourself when things just slip away?” “All is well and then, gone..Poof!! Can’t see myself..sort of blocked…just when I am all ready to roll, suddenly out of nowhere, I blank out…things fall apart”

“Any significant emotions coming up?” “Fear!” she said “Gosh! its fear! it blocks me….freezes me…I am frozen with fear..”

“How often have you felt frozen with fear?” “Oh Lord!” she exclaimed “have this frozen feeling most of the times…especially while leading any critical project for my company…freeze, unable to communicate..”

“What if fear is no longer there?” Surprised, she said “I can’t imagine life without fear…I mean its there..always”

“While planning your daughter’s event, you mentioned many emotions except one..as though there was no room for it there…” “Yes…feel love for her no fear at all..”

“Let’s imagine you communicating with your prestigious client without feeling fear” She started to visualise herself with her client “I can see my client…unable to proceed..so important for me to get this right…otherwise my leadership role is gone..Poof!”

“You mentioned at no cost earlier..how does that relate with fear?” ”At no cost can I make mistakes at work…fear keeps me safe..when I freeze with fear, am happy for someone else to communicate with the client..”

“What else are you telling yourself then?” “Phew..am safe..no worries now…” pausing she reflected “I feel happy, calm and unfreeze”

“So it appears as though when you freeze with fear, you feel safe..how else is fear serving you?” “Am at ease..able to think creatively again..in fact my best work has come up when I unfreeze"

“Now imagine yourself safe, at ease communicating with the client” Smiling she said “when safe, I can see myself having successful, fulfilling dialogue with my clients…”

“How does fear serve you in taking up the leadership role” “Leads me to my safety where I am calm, creative and plan my best designs..in my daughter’s case my safety comes through my love for her…in my case, it is through fear..perhaps not being able to love myself?..I feel safe here when I say that…am safe and less fearful..FEAR-LESS” she repeated loudly ”Self love guides me in accepting my fears..”

“What are your key lessons from our session today..please make a note “ after writing them down, she stated excitedly “My fear is a real emotion taking me to my safety..for me to be a good leader, its imperative that I accept my fears. This makes me safe, and that’s when, I excel as a leader..”

“How do you feel when you say that?” “Fear is real, helped me explore my self love, accept myself with my fears..makes me fear-less…and creative! so its good to have fear..makes sense…its logical, rational” she whooped with joy.

“Do you realise, you just created an acronym for real?” Looking down at her notes she said “ Serendipity!! Yes Of Course! Real is Rational Emotion (Fear in this case) Accepted with Love…”

#fear

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